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NBA Finals: Fake Fans’ Guide to Celebration

As a false fan, you probably knew that the Mission Bay Dubs (aka Golden State Warriors) won the NBA Finals and you’re ready to move on.

Not so fast!

On Monday comes the big parade. Which means another street party. It will be covered by international television, the press, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok and various podcasts, so additional material is needed to fill the crowd.

The festivities start around 11:20.., will end around 2pm and will likely include cameos and clichés from local favorites.

It probably won’t be as bustling as Thursday night, but it will be a good opportunity to show the sci-fi haters a brighter and more cheerful face of the city than they usually see in the gritty national media.

In case you forgot, here are the names of some of the key players. When talking about them, don’t forget to use names or nicknames: Steven (“Steph”) Curry, Draymond Green, Clay Thompson, Andre IguodalaIggy”), Kevon Looney (“Lun”), Andrew Wiggins (“Wiggs“), Jordan Poole and Gary Payton II (“GP2“).

Crushed among “real” fans, you may feel the need to show that you are minimally aware of what just happened. Here are some notes.

Despite Steph Curry’s admiration (deservedly!!), the Dubs’ victory underlined once again that basketball is a team game. To play as a team: they share, help, talk, trust, rely and move in sync with each other. At best they play basketball.

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